Claudette and Mona Talk About Miguel and The Billboard Award Show

Lydia and I have played around with these characters for a long time....just all in good fun joking with each other.  Recently, she started putting "Claudette" out on YouTube for laughs;  and today, she talked me into joining her as "Mona".  We had the BEST time!  We laughed until our sides hurt.  This is what family is all about.  Having fun!!! 

Hitting The High Points

"It will only take me a minute....I'm just going to hit the high points", I said to the kids this week while pushing around my trusty vacuum cleaner.  When I heard the words escape from my mouth, I quickly remembered the time I took in my much younger years to create perfect lines within the piles of carpet.  Back and forth I would work the vacuum, and once complete, I would carefully tiptoe from the room to make sure not to disturb what would shout "Perfectly Clean!" to anyone who entered. 

Not anymore.  Five children later, and I am lucky to have a 30 minute date per week with Mr. Hoover.  How much my entire life is now reflective in that statement:  "I'm just going to hit the high points".  Can you relate?

There was a time in my spiritual walk when I arranged my schedule to be at church every time the doors were open....when asked to serve on a committee, I quickly answered 'yes'....my Bible was read for a solid 30 minutes a day and prayers were kept securely in a journal.  Yes, there was a time when I carefully tiptoed through life so those around me would shout "Perfectly Clean!" whenever they saw me. 

Not anymore.  More often than not, I am simply hitting the high points! 

Hebrews 12:1 says:  "Let us run the race with endurance...the race God has set for us."

To me, this verse means that each of us have our own races to run.  At the moment, my race involves a rising high school senior who is working to obtain a football scholarship, a homeschooled teenager who has a passion to use music to bring awareness to the special needs community, another teenager who is struggling mightily from the effects of Reactive Attachment Disorder, and two little ones who are non-verbal and who have an extra chromosome.  It is quite a race.   

But my race will change soon, and yours will too.  There will come a day when I will have time to make the perfect lines in my carpet again....when I will have time to dust off that old prayer journal....if I choose.  But I don't believe I will, because hitting the high points is actually what I believe scripture teaches us to do.  How it must bless the Father when we are so busy serving, loving, teaching, helping, and experiencing life that we have no time to 'schedule Him into our calendars' or look "Perfectly Clean"!

Natalie Grace is one of my high points right now.  Through her, God is teaching me something  totally new about faith and trusting Him.  This is from a letter I recently received from her:

"Hi everyone.  I am doing good!  Something I forgot to tell you is in the morning we do a devotion and read different chapters aloud.  Yesterday we listened to the preacher of the church we go to on a disc.  It was really good.  Next, we did a 3 mile walk video and boy did that hurt.  Everyone here is really nice.  The biggest news happened at church.  They were talking about people pulling away from God.  The preacher asked us if you don't know if you belonged with God to raise your hand.  There were a few.  Then he asked who doesn't belong to God.  I raised my hand.  That day he said is the day you ask God to come either into your life or back in your life.  I went to a staff member and was crying because I really want Him back in my life.  I told her I lost God and I need Him back in my life.  We looked up some verses and I prayed for forgiveness.  I really meant it with all of my heart.  I am saved.  I know that I won't be perfect but I love God again and I wanted you all to know that.  I truly want to be a new Natalie.  I want you to know, Mom, on the phone before I got here, what you said to me meant so much.  That was all I needed to keep pushing on.  I am so glad God put me here.  It shows how much he cares for both of us.  I love you all and can't wait to call you.  We can only talk for 15 minutes but that will be better than 5.  I know that you all have forgiven me, but I want to say I am so sorry from the bottom of my heart for lying, stealing, having a horrible attitude, and everything else I did that was bad.  You all don't deserve that and I want you to know that I care for you all and love you so much.  You mean everything to me." 

Who cares if my carpet has perfect lines?  Who cares if my prayer journal is kept up to date?  This is the 'high point' stuff that matters!  I am so thankful for a God who cares so much for me and you that he would intentionally call this life a "race"....that is a word we can all relate to.  Each of us have different experiences, different abilities, and unique people who run our races alongside us.  Our job isn't to line the track....it isn't to sound the shot that announces the race has begun....our job isn't to man the snack bar or to hand out the programs.  Our job is to simply keep running.

To my 5 runners, the loves of my life:  Keep Running!  I'm going to run with you all the way to the end!

Run, Natalie, Run!!!

The Rescue 5 Project Update

Like many of you, I want to wear clothing that accomplishes two things.  First, I desire to promote positive attitudes about causes I care about.   And second, I want to spark meaningful conversation that will create change.  

If you click the links below, you will find a description giving meaning to the designs we created.  Each can be placed on a number of different products within Zazzle, generating different price points to accomodate every budget.

Lydia is currently raising money to fund the adoption of 5 orphans who have special needs. You can read more about it here: 
The Rescue 5 Project

Proceeds from all sales will go to fund the Rescue 5 Project.  


The R Word Hurts Tee Shirts by Squidmunkee
Shop for custom t shirts online at Zazzle

Walk A Mile In Different Shoes Shirts by Squidmunkee
Browse additional t-shirts at zazzle.com

I See You Shirt by Squidmunkee
Create unique custom shirts no minimum.


P.S.  For all who continue to pray and ask about our Natalie, she is doing well.  I will post an update next week with some quotes from her letters. 

Gravity Lessons

Gravity Lessons....Have you had any of those lately?  Where the powers of heaven have pressed some undeniable truth urgently upon you?  Where like a grape that has been stomped and obliterated into wine, you have felt the weight of that reality crushing you? spilling out for you to see?  

I have.

IRONY, in my life, is when God allows me to see how wrong I have been by offering me a dose of personal experience.  The problem is God's offering feels more like a semi-truck dropping on  me from the sky....a massive eighteen wheeler that has been hurled by the very hands of God.  And as I lie face down, completely smashed beneath the magnitude of it all, He asks:  "Do you see?"


Before things exploded into crisis mode with Natalie, I believed all she needed to do was to put her desire for sin aside and choose Jesus.  It seemed so simple to me.  The Bible lays out the guidelines we need to follow in order to have a peaceful life:  don't lie...don't steal....love your neighbor....honor your parents....etc.  Who wouldn't want to follow them?  Who wouldn't want to choose peace over despair?  

But when the battle ultimately came to a deafening crescendo of Natalie literally screaming for me to get her help, I finally snapped out of my "that person just needs the Lord" mode and began frantically seeking medical advisement.  And for the last 5+ months, our insurance plan has been leading the charge and directing her care.  Chappy and I have been barely hanging on for the ride on this unfamiliar journey.  The drivers have been psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, nurses, and therapists.  We have questions that still remain unanswered, we have made phone calls that have never been returned, and we have been whipped around by a system that cares more about doing business than treating our daughter.  

As a result, Chappy and I have made the very difficult decision to take her health care into our own hands.  As of this past weekend, Nat is in a place of our own choosing.  Insurance is no longer part of her treatment plan, and a "system" is no longer wielding power over our daughter.  For the first time in six months, our family feels peace.  Beneath the weight of truth, we choose hope.

Chappy was the one who transported Natalie from the last treatment center to where she is today.  I have agreed not to speak with Natalie for 30 days in order to give her a chance to focus on herself without a lot of added emotion.  During that time, we will correspond the old-fashioned way....by U.S. Mail.  

On her trip with Chappy, she and I spoke by cell phone.  At first she was very stoic and harsh during the conversation....telling me all of her problems were a result of poor parenting on my part....continuing to shelter herself behind those walls of protection she has built around her heart.  

Our final words were:  

(me):  "Natalie, I want you to know that you are so beautiful.  God did not make a mistake when He created you, and He has a wonderful purpose and plan for your life.  Do you hear me?

(Nat):  "Yes-ma'am"

(me):  "Nat, would you agree that you have hurt me so much over the last several months?  That things that you have said and done have broken my heart?"

(Nat):  "Yes-ma'am"

(me):  "Well I have something to say to you and I want you to hear me.  Will you listen to me for a minute?"

(Nat):  "Yes-ma'am"

(me):  "Nat, I am asking you to go to a brand new place, and I know you are feeling afraid.  But I want you to pour yourself into this place and accept the help they want to give you.  To do that, you are going to have to make yourself vulnerable.  You're going to have to take down the walls.  And if I am asking you to do that, then I have to do it too.  The first three words I have to say are easy for me.  I love you, Nat.  I really do.  But the next three words are difficult for me, but I am going to say them and I am going to mean them.  I forgive you."  

With those final three words, she began to sob out loud.  For a brief moment, the walls came down and I could hear my Natalie again.  I wanted so badly to reach out and look her in the eyes and say:  "You see, Nat, you do love me!"  However, we both just cried.

Very quickly, Natalie put her walls back up and went back into self-protection mode.  But it didn't bother me near as much as it usually does, because I had grabbed hold of that glimmer of hope and tucked it safely into my own heart.      

So where am I now?  I have returned to the basics.  My daughter just needs the Lord!  There is no magic potion and no doctor's remedy that can cure her heart.  Just like the rest of us, Natalie simply needs a Gravity Lesson!  It is going to be painful.  The process always is.  But in the end, when she is begging for mercy as I have done countless times....the ONE who is perfect mercy will gently pick her up, dust her off, and then will bring her back home to us....healed and whole.  

John 10:10:  "The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy....but I have come so that they might have life!"  

The Golden Rule

Lydia has slept on the floor of our our bedroom, cuddled up in blankets, since the Boston Marathon Tragedy....she is wrestling with the enemy called "Fear".   I think it is pretty safe to bet most of our teenagers are feeling afraid.  And I really can't blame them.    

The truth of the matter is that there is no simple fix to the brokenness of our society.  The remedy must begin with a worldwide heart change.  Perhaps, over time, healing will burst forth from the brokenness.  But until then, we are all left to figure out how we deal with the fear.  

Here is a 14 year old girl's perspective:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQ4HZi-mKFY

In Times Of Darkness

"I Am Terribly Rotten And Selfish...That's Why"

"Mom, why don't people understand our lives?", she asked. 

"They haven't walked in our shoes....so to expect others to understand us is unfair."

Such began a discussion at midnight in the middle of a king size bed in Rosemary Beach last week.  

Lydia and I were "blessed" with the task of getting Hopey to sleep, which was proving difficult since Poppy had fed her a huge piece of chocolate cake while we were out earlier that evening.  

When we walked in the door, my dad had asked:  "Hey, guess who REALLY likes chocolate cake?"   

And then I was promptly met by a laughing little munchkin who's face was covered in chocolate icing....even her teeth were coated in the stuff.  I knew it was going to be a long night.  And I was right.

Lights were out and all was quiet except for Hopey who continued to jump up and down on the bed even after we had made our best effort to "tuck her in" with cozy blankets dozens of times already....just when we thought we had her settled, we'd hurry to pretend to be asleep with the desire that she decide to join us....she may have an extra chromosome, but she ain't that easy to fool.  She caught onto our game and made up her own rules.  How many times did I silently curse at my daddy when Hopey would throw back the covers, leap to her feet, bounce up and down with giggles and then land right onto my tummy (or head)?  I lost count.

What I hadn't anticipated was how we were just about to have an appointment with our Father in the middle of that king size bed turned trampoline.

Lydia continued:  "No, mom, what I mean is why can't people see things the way we do?  Everybody thinks they have the answers to our problems, but they don't even have a clue.  They're just all selfish.  Most people who offer us advice about Natalie haven't even adopted a kid themselves."  (ouch!)

My answer to her possibly surprised me as much as it did Lydia:  "We are just as selfish as those people are....every single one of them....and just as judgmental too."

Those big eyes.  Lydia can never hide her true thoughts or feelings, because those puddles of brown betray her every single time.  This evening offered no exception.  The moonlight burst through the vertical blinds and landed right onto those eyes as Lydia shot up in the bed and used them to accuse me:

"Are you kidding me?  WE are selfish?  WE have adopted two kids and take care of two little ones with Down syndrome every single day of our lives, but WE are selfish?  Mom, WE don't even have a life!  How in the world can you say WE are selfish?"

I answered with a question:  "Who are you comparing us to?"

And boy, did she ever have a list.  I didn't have a clue she knew so much about so many people.  Teenagers watch and take everything in, because my 14 year old rattled off a list of  moms who routinely get manicures, host parties, and travel....of dads who play weekly rounds of golf, drive sports cars, and throw back beer like it's water in an effort to appear younger than their middle age....of families who have plenty of money but never reach out to help the poor, the widow, or the orphan....of friends who care most about popularity and of churches filled with hypocrites.  

This time, the shock was in my eyes.  Had I raised Lydia to believe our lifestyle somehow made us more holy than others?

So I asked her:  "If right now, a reliable person were to make you this offer:  'Lydia, I will save 50 orphans if you will give up everything you have....those orphans will never want for anything again...they will be loved and provided for until their death...but with the condition that you give up your family, all of your belongings, your home, and all conveniences to live in a trailer alone for the rest of your life....and with the condition that no one could ever know the sacrifice you made'....would you do it?  With the absolute 100% guarantee of saving those 50 orphans?"

Her eyes betrayed her again.  Oh, how I love those eyes:
"Ummmmm, yes, of course I would do it."  Her voice was so soft and pure.  I can still hear the words escape from her mouth.

I turned to her, in the dark....with Hopey still jumping up and down like a caffeine drugged little bouncing bean....and I matter-of-factly said:  "I wouldn't.  In fact, I wouldn't do it to save 500 orphans....or even 5000 orphans.  Heck, Lydia, I am ashamed to say I wouldn't do it to save every orphan on the planet."

She didn't even look at me, but instead fiddled with her fingers when she asked:  "Why?"

"Because I am selfish; I am terribly rotten and selfish...that's why", I answered.

She immediately replied:  "Me too.  I didn't mean it when I said I'd save them, Mom.  I am horrible. I wouldn't give my life up to save the orphans either.  But why?"

And then it was time for God's appointment with us.  Thankfully, I was ready for it even though it wasn't on my schedule for the evening.

"Because, Lydia, we are human and we live in a fallen world", I answered,  "and that is the reason we need a Savior." 

We talked for more than an hour....Hopey never stopped bouncing the entire time....Lydia and I in awe of what redemption truly means.  Both of us grateful for a Creator who saw ahead and provided for us....and for a Father who loves us even though we are terribly rotten and selfish.  We wrote this song about that gift of redemption; hope you like it: