Yesterday, for the first time, I came to terms with the fact that Hopey may never have language. At 5 1/2 years, she still is not speaking. This morning when I left her at preschool for her 4 hour day of teaching and therapy, one of the teaching assistants looked at Hopey in the eyes and spoke sweetly to her. I watched as Hopey so badly wanted to respond, but could not with words. Instead, she smiled and craned her neck forward to show her reply of pure love and appreciation. I left the room bawling like a baby and cried out to God: "Oh Father, I just want to hear her tell me she loves me, please." Selfishly, I want my baby girl to have a voice.
My next stop was to drop off little red-headed Charlie for his very first day of preschool. At 2 and 1/2 he is still not walking or speaking and wants to be with me all of the time. Well, the truth is, I have never left him before except for a short stay with my parents when they come to visit from out of town. I guess he wants to be with me all of the time, or perhaps he has just never had another choice. Ha! Ha! Anyway, today marks our first official day of separation from each other since he will be going to preschool on Tuesdays and Thursdays for the rest of the school year. I left part of my heart in that special needs preschool room today, and my bawling has continued.
On top of it all, Chappy is out of town, so my tears are wasted. If he were here he would hold me and encourage me the way only he can. Hoping for something to bring cheer, I opened the computer and found a message from Carlene's new momma....you remember Carlene, the little angel our family raised money for over Christmas? She shared her blog with me, and if you have time you just have to read it today:
http://www.harrisfamilyjourneys.blogspot.com/
God is so awesome and so tender. This blog post was exactly what I needed to see today, and He prepared it perfectly for me.
My last blogpost was a bit lengthy, because it is sometimes difficult for me to write what the Father places on my heart. The LOVE I suggested in that post that seems to be missing in "religion" today can oddly be summed up by reading Jolie's (Carlene's new mommy) blogpost. You see, when our hearts are in tune to God's work, and we focus on loving others instead of always trying to prove our doctrine/beliefs, then our Lord works everything else out. Beautifully and quite seamlessly, he brings us together and shows Himself to us clearly. Truly, this life is a lesson about LOVE.
Oh Lord, Jesus, thank you so much for loving me today....and for loving Hopey, Charlie, Elizabeth, Carlene (to be called Mollie), and all of your special ones. You are magnificent! And my heart is full!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Salvation First
This week marked the first week of nightly Bible Study devoted to the End Times. We began by taking care of the most important business first: SALVATION. That sounds like a simple enough term, doesn't it? But when eternal life hangs in the balance, that word should rank as the most important term for discussion in all of our lives and in all of history as well.
How many of you could rattle off, without much thought, the reason you know that you know that you know you are saved and marked for eternal life? Interesting thought, huh? How many of you came up with those thoughts on your own, based on an in-depth study of scripture joined with hours of study in history, to make certain your beliefs are based on as much factual evidence as possible? And how many of you would be willing to argue vehemently, threatening family relationships and friendships, over those beliefs?
OK, Baptists and Pentecostals (I can say that because my family and hometown was loaded with Baptists and Pentecostals), I can already hear your reply: "Salvation comes through FAITH! I don't need a bunch of facts."
Sure, faith is a key component of salvation since it revolves around the belief in One we cannot see with our eyes, audibly hear with our ears, or physically touch. However, it should not be overlooked that the Bible is full of pertinent facts, and recorded history can serve to back those facts, but it can also occasionally challenge them. It is for this reason, I believe, there are so many different religions, cults, sects, and denominations in our world. Say whatever you want to say, but everyone on earth believes something. And most either embrace what their family believed because it was such a positive experience for them, or they turn away from what they were taught as a child because they witnessed hypocrisy of some sort, making the beliefs they were taught unauthentic.
While Scripture is mysteriously timeless and unchanging, as we mature through our life experiences, the meaning of scripture often changes too. In other words, as our life perspective is altered, we essentially develop ideas and thought through a brand new lens. I have a recent example:
As a teenager, I read the book: "To Kill A Mockingbird" by Harper Lee. I read it again in December. One of the most famous quotes from the book: "Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don't eat up people's gardens, don't nest in corncribs, they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That's why it's a sin to kill a Mockingbird."
If asked when I was seventeen, I would have told you the book was written about the issue of prejudice surrounding blacks and whites. I remember feeling sad when Tom was killed in the book, and outraged by the injustice of his guilt sentencing. If I had been asked why the author gave the book such a title, I would have replied that Tom Robinson was the Mockingbird, and it was unfair for him to be shot and killed just because he was a black man.
My perspective had changed so much by the time I read the book 25 years later, I was stunned by it! Literally, it was like I was reading a completely different book. Through my new life lens, I was startled to realize the strange Boo Radley I had seen as an out of control boy in need of discipline when I was seventeen had turned into a mentally frail and disabled fellow who had become sucked into the wrong crowd as a young teen and was being parented by an overbearing father who was ashamed of him....Mrs Dubose, the old witch of a woman with a haughty spirit who had screamed at poor little Scout and Jem when I was seventeen became a drug addicted woman fighting with everything she could muster to be set free from drugs before she died....and Tom Robinson, the wonderful black man in the book, part of his arm had been cut off in a cotton gin accident leaving him with only part of an arm that didn't work at all....as a teenager, his having only one arm made his innocence of rape a stark reality even though the jury still found him guilty, and this made me angry. But as a teen, I missed the fact that Tom was both handicapped AND a minority.
The difference? I wasn't mom to three disabled children, and I was still blind. (It is interesting to note Harper Lee's mother was mentally handicapped and stayed shut in their family home most all of Lee's life.)
"To Kill A Mockingbird" is a book written about being open to accepting all people....being willing to look past the outer layers into the heart of a person.....especially the "least of these" who might be physically handicapped, mentally handicapped, part of a minority, or a person addicted to a substance or behavior. At seventeen, I had mastered the foundation of racism in the book with tremendous pride, but I had missed the intricate detail that had been masterfully woven into the very fibers of the foundation.
I wonder if we are guilty of the same thing when we read scripture? when we speak negatively about religious doctrine that differs from our own? when we turn our face away from the needy because they aren't easy to look at or to deal with? Have we been so religious that we have missed the intricate fibers that have been masterfully woven into the foundation....the very foundation of the world? Have we been so entrenched with promoting doctrine that we have too often missed the key to "the book of all books"..... "LOVE"?
For argument sake, Chappy and I discussed many of the different religions of the world with our children this week. The word "religion" is derived from the latin word: religio (verb: religare), meaning "to bind" or "place an obligation on". From a purely websterial standpoint, then, religion is simply a group of people who come together and obligate themselves to believe the same things...their similar beliefs is what "binds" them.
This week, instead of discussing the many ways world religions differ, our family worked to find a similar thread between all of the major religions. Of course there are many differences, but in order to see things from a "new lens", we focused on trying to find a common thread that might "bind" us all in some way:
Judaism: The Jews (named after the tribe of Judah, one of the twelve tribes of Israel) follow the teachings of the Torah and the Talmud. Jews believe in ONE God. The God of Abraham.
Christianity: The Christians, encompassing all followers of Jesus Christ, follow the Old and New Testament of the Holy Bible (the Old translated from Hebrew and the New translated from Greek). Christians believe in ONE God. The God of Abraham.
Islam: The Muslims, encompassing all followers of the teachings of the prophet Muhammed, study the Q'ran and follow its principles. They believe in ONE God. The God of Abraham.
Mormonism: The Mormons, encompassing all followers of the teachings of the prophet Joseph Smith, study the Book of Mormonism, the Bible, and other revelations of Joseph Smith. Mormons believe in ONE God. The God of Abraham.
Hinduism: Originally believed to be rooted in Hebrew Scripture when European tribes invaded India and introduced the new religion, Hinduism is a belief in one ultimate supreme God. Hindus accept the worship of many "gods" and "goddesses"; however, they believe each of these "deities" are ultimately lower manifistations (different representations) of the ONE true God.
(Buddhism: Many Buddhists believe in God, but Buddhism is not a religion. Buddhism is a formalized practice of working toward denying oneself of all human desires in order to find true peace and happiness.)
So what's the point of all this, right? The point is the human race is more alike than different and ALL people are searching for salvation and freedom from sin in one way or another...they use different words to describe their journey, but we are all on the same journey. Another interesting point to note: each of the religions listed above follow guidelines that are eerily similar to the Old Testament Ten Commandments, because the majority of mankind desires for their lives to have order, to have purpose, and to be honorable.
Our End Times study will be taken from a scriptural standpoint only, but I welcome thoughts from any of the religions listed above. Here are scripture passages we discussed this week as we discussed the epic theme of SALVATION:
2 Timothy 2:15: "Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth."
Isaiah 64:6: "But we are all like an unclean thing, and all our righteousness are like filthy rags."
Isaiah 61:10: "I will greatly rejoice in the Lord; my soul shall be joyful in my God; For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation, He has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorns herself with jewels."
Philipians 2:12: "...work out your own salvation with fear and trembling."
Luke 18:7-8: "And shall God not avenge His own elect who cry out day and night to Him, though He bears long with them? I tell you that He will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?"
James 2:19-20: "You believe there is one God, you do well. Even the demons believe and tremble. But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead?"
John 14:23-24: "If anyone loves Me, he will keep My commandments; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him. He who does not love me does not keep my commandments; and the word which you hear is not Mine but the Father's who sent Me."
Matthew 7:21-23: "Not everyone that saith unto Me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the Kingdom of Heaven; but he who doeth the will of my father in heaven. Many will say to me that day: 'Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in your name and in your name have cast out devils and in thy name done many wonderful works?' And then I will profess to them: "I never knew you, depart from me, you that work iniquity."
John 3:16-21: "For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God."
Psalm 32:1-2: Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit."
Open our hearts, Father, to Your Will and Your Way! Amen.
How many of you could rattle off, without much thought, the reason you know that you know that you know you are saved and marked for eternal life? Interesting thought, huh? How many of you came up with those thoughts on your own, based on an in-depth study of scripture joined with hours of study in history, to make certain your beliefs are based on as much factual evidence as possible? And how many of you would be willing to argue vehemently, threatening family relationships and friendships, over those beliefs?
OK, Baptists and Pentecostals (I can say that because my family and hometown was loaded with Baptists and Pentecostals), I can already hear your reply: "Salvation comes through FAITH! I don't need a bunch of facts."
Sure, faith is a key component of salvation since it revolves around the belief in One we cannot see with our eyes, audibly hear with our ears, or physically touch. However, it should not be overlooked that the Bible is full of pertinent facts, and recorded history can serve to back those facts, but it can also occasionally challenge them. It is for this reason, I believe, there are so many different religions, cults, sects, and denominations in our world. Say whatever you want to say, but everyone on earth believes something. And most either embrace what their family believed because it was such a positive experience for them, or they turn away from what they were taught as a child because they witnessed hypocrisy of some sort, making the beliefs they were taught unauthentic.
While Scripture is mysteriously timeless and unchanging, as we mature through our life experiences, the meaning of scripture often changes too. In other words, as our life perspective is altered, we essentially develop ideas and thought through a brand new lens. I have a recent example:
As a teenager, I read the book: "To Kill A Mockingbird" by Harper Lee. I read it again in December. One of the most famous quotes from the book: "Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don't eat up people's gardens, don't nest in corncribs, they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That's why it's a sin to kill a Mockingbird."
If asked when I was seventeen, I would have told you the book was written about the issue of prejudice surrounding blacks and whites. I remember feeling sad when Tom was killed in the book, and outraged by the injustice of his guilt sentencing. If I had been asked why the author gave the book such a title, I would have replied that Tom Robinson was the Mockingbird, and it was unfair for him to be shot and killed just because he was a black man.
My perspective had changed so much by the time I read the book 25 years later, I was stunned by it! Literally, it was like I was reading a completely different book. Through my new life lens, I was startled to realize the strange Boo Radley I had seen as an out of control boy in need of discipline when I was seventeen had turned into a mentally frail and disabled fellow who had become sucked into the wrong crowd as a young teen and was being parented by an overbearing father who was ashamed of him....Mrs Dubose, the old witch of a woman with a haughty spirit who had screamed at poor little Scout and Jem when I was seventeen became a drug addicted woman fighting with everything she could muster to be set free from drugs before she died....and Tom Robinson, the wonderful black man in the book, part of his arm had been cut off in a cotton gin accident leaving him with only part of an arm that didn't work at all....as a teenager, his having only one arm made his innocence of rape a stark reality even though the jury still found him guilty, and this made me angry. But as a teen, I missed the fact that Tom was both handicapped AND a minority.
The difference? I wasn't mom to three disabled children, and I was still blind. (It is interesting to note Harper Lee's mother was mentally handicapped and stayed shut in their family home most all of Lee's life.)
"To Kill A Mockingbird" is a book written about being open to accepting all people....being willing to look past the outer layers into the heart of a person.....especially the "least of these" who might be physically handicapped, mentally handicapped, part of a minority, or a person addicted to a substance or behavior. At seventeen, I had mastered the foundation of racism in the book with tremendous pride, but I had missed the intricate detail that had been masterfully woven into the very fibers of the foundation.
I wonder if we are guilty of the same thing when we read scripture? when we speak negatively about religious doctrine that differs from our own? when we turn our face away from the needy because they aren't easy to look at or to deal with? Have we been so religious that we have missed the intricate fibers that have been masterfully woven into the foundation....the very foundation of the world? Have we been so entrenched with promoting doctrine that we have too often missed the key to "the book of all books"..... "LOVE"?
For argument sake, Chappy and I discussed many of the different religions of the world with our children this week. The word "religion" is derived from the latin word: religio (verb: religare), meaning "to bind" or "place an obligation on". From a purely websterial standpoint, then, religion is simply a group of people who come together and obligate themselves to believe the same things...their similar beliefs is what "binds" them.
This week, instead of discussing the many ways world religions differ, our family worked to find a similar thread between all of the major religions. Of course there are many differences, but in order to see things from a "new lens", we focused on trying to find a common thread that might "bind" us all in some way:
Judaism: The Jews (named after the tribe of Judah, one of the twelve tribes of Israel) follow the teachings of the Torah and the Talmud. Jews believe in ONE God. The God of Abraham.
Christianity: The Christians, encompassing all followers of Jesus Christ, follow the Old and New Testament of the Holy Bible (the Old translated from Hebrew and the New translated from Greek). Christians believe in ONE God. The God of Abraham.
Islam: The Muslims, encompassing all followers of the teachings of the prophet Muhammed, study the Q'ran and follow its principles. They believe in ONE God. The God of Abraham.
Mormonism: The Mormons, encompassing all followers of the teachings of the prophet Joseph Smith, study the Book of Mormonism, the Bible, and other revelations of Joseph Smith. Mormons believe in ONE God. The God of Abraham.
Hinduism: Originally believed to be rooted in Hebrew Scripture when European tribes invaded India and introduced the new religion, Hinduism is a belief in one ultimate supreme God. Hindus accept the worship of many "gods" and "goddesses"; however, they believe each of these "deities" are ultimately lower manifistations (different representations) of the ONE true God.
(Buddhism: Many Buddhists believe in God, but Buddhism is not a religion. Buddhism is a formalized practice of working toward denying oneself of all human desires in order to find true peace and happiness.)
So what's the point of all this, right? The point is the human race is more alike than different and ALL people are searching for salvation and freedom from sin in one way or another...they use different words to describe their journey, but we are all on the same journey. Another interesting point to note: each of the religions listed above follow guidelines that are eerily similar to the Old Testament Ten Commandments, because the majority of mankind desires for their lives to have order, to have purpose, and to be honorable.
Our End Times study will be taken from a scriptural standpoint only, but I welcome thoughts from any of the religions listed above. Here are scripture passages we discussed this week as we discussed the epic theme of SALVATION:
2 Timothy 2:15: "Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth."
Isaiah 64:6: "But we are all like an unclean thing, and all our righteousness are like filthy rags."
Isaiah 61:10: "I will greatly rejoice in the Lord; my soul shall be joyful in my God; For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation, He has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorns herself with jewels."
Philipians 2:12: "...work out your own salvation with fear and trembling."
Luke 18:7-8: "And shall God not avenge His own elect who cry out day and night to Him, though He bears long with them? I tell you that He will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?"
James 2:19-20: "You believe there is one God, you do well. Even the demons believe and tremble. But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead?"
John 14:23-24: "If anyone loves Me, he will keep My commandments; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him. He who does not love me does not keep my commandments; and the word which you hear is not Mine but the Father's who sent Me."
Matthew 7:21-23: "Not everyone that saith unto Me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the Kingdom of Heaven; but he who doeth the will of my father in heaven. Many will say to me that day: 'Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in your name and in your name have cast out devils and in thy name done many wonderful works?' And then I will profess to them: "I never knew you, depart from me, you that work iniquity."
John 3:16-21: "For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God."
Psalm 32:1-2: Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit."
Open our hearts, Father, to Your Will and Your Way! Amen.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
End of Time?
There is so much talk in Christian (and non-Christian) circles about the end of time and how signs point to the dramatic conclusion of the world as we know it drawing near. Since our children have had lots of questions on the subject, I have decided to dedicate the next several weeks to an end times study of sort. I am no expert on scripture, but I do have an open mind and a crazy work ethic when it comes to digging into depths of history. In an effort to chronicle this "journey", be forewarned, I plan to blog about it.
In addition to an in-depth study of scripture, I will present current issues impacting our world and how these matters might relate directly (or indirectly) to prophecy in scripture. My dialog will not be based on any denominational bend, nor will I attemt to persuade the reader. My purpose for our children, for myself, and for this blog will be to offer thought for consideration based on scripture, history, theological opinion, and current events. Some of the material might be controversial in nature. I hope so. By pushing ourselves beyond what we have been taught throughout our lives to consider other options and opinions, I believe we necessarily gut ourselves of religiosity that too often hinders us from the work of the Spirit.
In closing, I hope you will agree we serve a loving God who would never wish us to be left off-guard. The very purpose of the Bible is to instruct us and prepare us. If the end of the world is drawing near, and certainly we are one day closer as each new day dawns, He will want us to be prepared and excited about the grand finale.
"Then the Kingdom of Heaven will be likened to ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were wise, and five of them were foolish. Those who were foolish took their lamps, but took no oil with them. But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. But while the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept. And at midnight, a cry was heard: "Behold, the bridegroom is coming, go out to meet Him!" Then all of the virgins rose and trimmed their lamps. The foolish said to the wise: "Give us some of your oil, because our lamps are going out." But the wise answered, saying: "No, lest there not be enough for us and you; but go rather to those who sell and buy for yourselves." And while they went to buy, the Bridegroom came. Those who were ready went with Him to the wedding; and the door was shut. Afterward, the other virgins came also, saying: "Lord, Lord, open to us!" But He answered and said: "Surely, I do not know you!" Watch therefore, for you know not either the day or the hour in which the Son of Man is coming." (Matt. 25)
Will you join me on this journey? If so, I look forward to your thoughts on the subject as we open our hearts and minds to the King of ALL Kings!
In addition to an in-depth study of scripture, I will present current issues impacting our world and how these matters might relate directly (or indirectly) to prophecy in scripture. My dialog will not be based on any denominational bend, nor will I attemt to persuade the reader. My purpose for our children, for myself, and for this blog will be to offer thought for consideration based on scripture, history, theological opinion, and current events. Some of the material might be controversial in nature. I hope so. By pushing ourselves beyond what we have been taught throughout our lives to consider other options and opinions, I believe we necessarily gut ourselves of religiosity that too often hinders us from the work of the Spirit.
In closing, I hope you will agree we serve a loving God who would never wish us to be left off-guard. The very purpose of the Bible is to instruct us and prepare us. If the end of the world is drawing near, and certainly we are one day closer as each new day dawns, He will want us to be prepared and excited about the grand finale.
"Then the Kingdom of Heaven will be likened to ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were wise, and five of them were foolish. Those who were foolish took their lamps, but took no oil with them. But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. But while the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept. And at midnight, a cry was heard: "Behold, the bridegroom is coming, go out to meet Him!" Then all of the virgins rose and trimmed their lamps. The foolish said to the wise: "Give us some of your oil, because our lamps are going out." But the wise answered, saying: "No, lest there not be enough for us and you; but go rather to those who sell and buy for yourselves." And while they went to buy, the Bridegroom came. Those who were ready went with Him to the wedding; and the door was shut. Afterward, the other virgins came also, saying: "Lord, Lord, open to us!" But He answered and said: "Surely, I do not know you!" Watch therefore, for you know not either the day or the hour in which the Son of Man is coming." (Matt. 25)
Will you join me on this journey? If so, I look forward to your thoughts on the subject as we open our hearts and minds to the King of ALL Kings!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
"Pro Life"....REALLY???
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) has really been kicking me in the pants as of late. With the onset of hormonal changes, our twelve year old Natalie is struggling with a noticeable increase in her symptoms. Unless you have parented a child with FAS, you have no idea what it is like to teach and discipline a child who too often lacks the ability to comprehend reason....to attempt to explain a world full of abstracts when young determined eyes are betrayed by the twinkling portal to a hidden mind only capable of understanding absolutes....to try to adequately express the fact that being "different" or being called "weird" by peers is not the end of the world to a tear-streamed face with teeth gripping so tight the muscles in her face protrude....to give the same instructions day after day for nine solid years, one million times at least, knowing you will have to say it another two million times......while bearing the painful realization that part of the information will never completely sink in. Self control for a child with FAS? Always a battle. And boundaries for a child with FAS are only set to be tested. As a result, these little ones have to be parented constantly, and it proves to be exhausting to both parent and child.
***
What would you think about a law that would require pregnant mothers who are caught drinking alcohol to spend the remainder of the term of their pregnancy behind bars, locked in jail? While it will never happen in this country, the thought is worth pondering. According to statistics, 1 in 12 women drink alcohol during pregnancy, and 1 in 30 will binge drink. Those same statistics report any and all alcohol during pregnancy will impact the unborn child in a negative way, and every drink during pregnancy puts the unborn baby at risk for FAS.
***
Another statistic you might find alarming: Did you know 60% of the prison population has FAS? AND, to make matters worse, many of those inmates lacked the cognitive ability to make a logical judgment before committing their crime because of a disability that was 100% preventable. Perhaps locking up an alcohol-addicted expectant mother for 9 months would save her unborn child from spending adulthood locked behind bars for crimes that were unintentional and/or uncontrollable. I would argue the real crime was committed during pregnancy with a drink of alcohol.
Another statistic you might find alarming: Did you know 60% of the prison population has FAS? AND, to make matters worse, many of those inmates lacked the cognitive ability to make a logical judgment before committing their crime because of a disability that was 100% preventable. Perhaps locking up an alcohol-addicted expectant mother for 9 months would save her unborn child from spending adulthood locked behind bars for crimes that were unintentional and/or uncontrollable. I would argue the real crime was committed during pregnancy with a drink of alcohol.
***
There are so many orphans and unwanted children in our world (including our country) with FAS; the numbers are, in fact, quite staggering. While these children are difficult to parent, they are precious human beings with real emotions and deep feelings. With plenty of love and consistent instruction, these children grow to become productive adults who make a positive difference in the world. All they need is a chance.
There are so many orphans and unwanted children in our world (including our country) with FAS; the numbers are, in fact, quite staggering. While these children are difficult to parent, they are precious human beings with real emotions and deep feelings. With plenty of love and consistent instruction, these children grow to become productive adults who make a positive difference in the world. All they need is a chance.
***
As Nat and I navigate through this period of her life with its occasional mountaintops dotted with hundreds of extreme valleys, I find myself becoming more discerning and contemplative as my heart both grows and pains for my daughter. My mind is definitely more keenly attuned to the world around me since I now sift all flow of information via the lens of a mother with three special needs children.
As Nat and I navigate through this period of her life with its occasional mountaintops dotted with hundreds of extreme valleys, I find myself becoming more discerning and contemplative as my heart both grows and pains for my daughter. My mind is definitely more keenly attuned to the world around me since I now sift all flow of information via the lens of a mother with three special needs children.
***
The truth is, I can't help rolling my eyes when well-meaning Christians pridefully broadcast the term "Pro-Life" as if it is a spiritual battle cry while the 'Natalies of the World' are rotting away in the foster care system and orphanages with no prospect of hope. To a simpleton like me, you see, being "Pro-Life" has come to mean a lot more than salvaging a child in-utero....and it also amounts to more than mailing a monthly check to support organizations reaching out to unwanted children. I clearly see through our nine year experience with Natalie that she would have been destined for a life of imprisonment, drug/alcohol addiction, or even early death had it not been for our taking her in and parenting her.
***
In thinking through all of this, I do not want to leave the unsung heroes out of this blog: Natalie's mom and Charlie's mom are two women to be admired. Both found themselves young, single, and expecting a baby. Both could have chosen abortion. Both, however, valued life enough to have their babies, digging just deep enough to find faith in the belief that a family would come along who had the desire and ability to make their little ones a part of something priceless. Both were correct. Each time I successfully talk Natalie through the personal conflicts she continually battles because of FAS, I walk away feeling energized with the remembrance that her birth mother and I chose LIFE....and Natalie is worth it! In the same way, when I cuddle my little red-headed Charlie until he is softly snoring in my arms, I often grin with thoughts of his birth momma who valued his life and trusted in humanity enough to allow someone else, me, the gift of raising him.
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Pro-Life. It is a gigantic phrase. Before we go preaching it, perhaps we need to make sure we are living it! In my "Independent" political run for State Senate, I was educated on so much more than I ever anticipated by both sides of the political aisle. It might surprise you, as it did me, to know 'why' the Pro-Life stance is such a joke to the Democratic Party. More times than I can count, I was told that Republicans/Conservatives are "Pro-Birth", but not "Pro-Life". Unfortunately, alarming statistics can be rattled off to show the number of unwanted children around the globe who are either in less-than-perfect foster care systems or orphanages/institutions. Too many of these statistical children grow up to become adult prison statistics or suicide statistics when their destinies could have held such more if they had only had the love of a family. As stated to me by many Democrats: "After the Pro-Birth Republicans save the fetus, they forget the child." It is a subject worth considering....and that is something we can change!
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The good news is there are hundreds of adoptable children in the United States right now who are waiting on that chance to be your "special someone", and the adoption cost is very minimal. Can't afford the expenses of raising a child right now? Then why not be a wonderful parent to a foster child? The foster care system will pay all the expenses for you. But if you have been blessed with financial security, why not travel to another country and save one orphan from the millions who are wasting away with no hope? Give the gift of hope! It will be the greatest decision you will ever make. Pro-Life means human beings are valuable in-utero until they take their last breath. I believe it, do you?
Monday, January 24, 2011
Lydia Meets The Little Miracle Girl!
One day in November, around our family table, Lydia asked Chappy and me: "You know what I would most like for Christmas this year?" Since we don't make a big deal out of gifts during the season, we gave her a somewhat puzzled look. She responded: "I want to visit Darya". So in December, just before Christmas, our family made a stop in Florida to visit Miss Darya.
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Most of you will recall, but for those who are new to my blog journey I will give a brief background. Each year for the holidays, our family raises money for orphans instead of spending alot of money buying gifts for each other. In November of 2009, Lydia found Reece's Rainbow online, an adoption agency that focuses on finding families who want to adopt international orphans with special needs....and better yet, they specialize in finding families for international orphans with Down Syndrome (obviously near and dear to our hearts).
To make a long story short, Chappy was away in Africa on a mission trip the day Lydia asked if we could make this cute little girl she had found on the internet with Down Syndrome, Darya, our "2009 Christmas Project"....then she added a kicker: "And mom, if I can raise the $20,000 needed to adopt her by Thanksgiving, will you agree that we will go save her and adopt her into our family?"
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At the time, Lydia was eleven years old and Thanksgiving was seven days away, so what were the chances? Lesson learned: never underestimate child-like faith or God's mysterious ways. She did it!
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When Chappy returned from Africa, he was quite surprised to learn he was going to adopt another little one with Down Syndrome, but pleasantly surprised. We immediately began gathering paperwork, getting fingerprinted, and working on our homestudy....then things were halted. Because of Chappy's age, I learned I would have to adopt Darya as a single mom. The social worker (and friend) who was preparing our homestudy said she didn't feel comfortable with making me appear to be a single mom when I am not; and quite frankly, Chappy and I didn't feel too comfortable about it either. Then, as a final blow, we learned about the aneurysm in Hopey's heart which would make travel with her an impossibility. As a result, reluctantly, we backed away. We sent the money Lydia had raised to Reece's Rainbow, with instructions for the funds to be used specifically for Darya, and then proceeded to close the door of our hearts to the adoption.
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Lydia's heart was broken. More like shattered. In her mind, God had provided a miracle, so it had to be His will for us to adopt Darya. Lydia questioned our faith, she questioned God, and she grieved. We all grieved. Lydia felt our family had abandoned Darya.
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But God works in wonderous ways, and He never disappoints. Just when we were at our lowest, we heard from a family, the Fick family, who had come forward to adopt Darya. I remember screaming for Lydia to come quick to read the message on my computer.....we hugged and cried and cried some more. Jehovah Jireh, Our Provider, had provided. In that moment, all the darkness we had been feeling vanished and we were again bathing in His Light! We knew in our hearts, in a way I cannot describe, that this was God's plan all along!
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Lydia and I began following the Fick's blog and their progression toward their precious daughter-to-be. When they were in the Ukraine, Lydia and I checked the computer multiple times per day to get a glimpse of Darya and to hear a word of news. The tears we have shed over that precious baby girl cannot even be counted....tears of joy!
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After reading this, can you begin to fathom what it was like on our ride to Darya's house last month? The excitement in our van grew the nearer we came to the Fick's home. Looking back now, I wouldn't even call it a "meeting", because to us it seemed more like a family reunion. Marianne and Joel, along with their boys, opened their arms to us and greeted us with huge hugs teemed with warm celebratory laughter. And as for Darya, I cannot say enough. God's radiance is all over that girl.
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The Fick's prepared a mega-Mexican lunch for us (with Joel's famous homemade salsa rivaling any Mexican restaurant); we shared stories, talked about the greatness of the Lord, and watched every move Darya made. Together we were in awe of the Almighty who brought us together through the miracle of Love, culminating in the perfect salvation of a two year old orphan girl with Down Syndrome who had been born a world away in the Ukraine. Only God can write a story like that!!!
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To the Fick Family: We love you!!!
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Psalm 145:6 "They will tell of the power of your awesome works, and I will proclaim your great deeds."
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Hope update: The aneurysm in Hopey's heart remains the same and the backflow (leaking) of her aortic valve appears to be unchanged as well. This is good news, and we are happy!
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We will have a re-check in 6 months to make sure her heart is still cooperating. Many friends/family members have inquired about the size of the aneurysm, so I asked the cardiologist if he would consider it to be "small". He replied: "not small, but moderate in size." I don't know what "moderate" is in terms of an aneurysm, but maybe that answers a question for someone.
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Just a few moments ago, as I was sitting down to begin this post, Hope came to find me and took my finger in her hand to pull me to the piano. She climbed upon the bench and waited for me to sit beside her. I asked: "You want to play a song with me?" She nodded a yes and began to plunk gently on the keys. Looking up to the music stand, I decided to play whatever page of music was present and sing along to make her happy....here are the words of the song Hopey and I played together:
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"This is the air I breathe....this is the air I breathe....Your holy presence....living in me. This is my daily bread....this is my daily bread.....Your very Word....spoken to me. And I'm desperate for You. And I'm lost without You. This is the air I breathe.....this is the air I breathe....Your holy presence....living in me."
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Accident? No, we serve a God who is never taken by surprise! I believe one of His messengers was pulling Hopey by one hand when she came to grab my hand. Imagine that. Hopey with one hand being tugged by an angel as she pulled me along with her other hand to the grand old piano. Perhaps the messenger even whispered to little Hopey who still remains without a voice: "Hey girl, let's go brighten the day with a dose of Jesus!" I'd sure like to think so.
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Yesterday, when I entered Vanderbilt Children's Hospital, I was bogged down and suffocating with the nearly unbearable dread of knowing I was going to view a bubble in little Hope's heart on an ultrasound machine....visible proof that what the doctors have told us is very real. Shaken up with heart pounding, I could literally breathe only because of my Savior. Without Him, I am certain I could not bear facing Hope's chronic heart condition.
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While Hopey used both of her chubby pointer fingers to peck at the keys, she lifted her perfectly round face up to the ceiling as if taking in every word I managed to croon. Separated by 37 years, 30 inches, and a different number of chromosomes, we both reverently reflected on "WHO" it is we eagerly worship throughout the song. Hope's feet dangled off the bench seeming to swing with delight as her spirit connected with the words about the Savior. And then it came to me like a flood: Hopey breathes only because of her Savior too....we all do. His presence is very much alive within us when we open up and experience Him.
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Thank you for all of your prayers as we continue to walk this journey of faith and "HOPE", trusting the Creator Who holds the number of all of our days in His hands and knowing that when we blink our eyes closed to this earth, we shall open them to a new everlasting beginning with Him in glory! Blessed be His Name!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Our Little Princess
You may have wondered why I haven't blogged in a while. Hopey has a BIG appointment on Friday (January 14th) of this week, and over the last few weeks, our family has been taking time to celebrate life with her.
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On Friday, Hope will have her 6 month heart check-up and we expect to learn if the inoperable aneurysm in her heart is continuing to grow....and if it is changing, we hope to get an indication regarding it's rate of growth. Knowing this appointment was looming, and dreading it with every fiber of our beings, our family scooped up our ray of sunshine and decided the very best place for a princess to visit is Disney World (where all the real princesses on earth live). So began our two week journey of celebration in Florida.
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Everything at Disney went pretty much to plan until we entered Epcot. What was our plan you ask? To pretend of course. Afterall, Disney is a place of "magic" where "dreams come true".....a safe place to leave all worries behind and choose instead to engage imagination and wonder.
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From climbing on board the most famous flying elephant in the world to cozying up snugly in a boat to view magnificent singing dolls from all over the world.....from finding a perfect spot on the sidewalk to take in the afternoon parade to meeting up with Mickey Mouse for a big old hug and fist pumps....from eating junk food until we all felt sick as dogs to taking in the most beautiful fireworks display over a castle iced in colored lights with tinkerbell flying from the tip top along a zip line down...down...down toward a crowd of "oohs and aaahs". Simply Magical.
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Yep, our plan was going just fine until we met Linda:
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"How old are your two little ones?" she asked as she posed us in front of the massive silver ball whose extraordinary presence beckons guests to experience the wonder called Epcot.
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While pulling Charlie and Hope out of the double stroller for the hundredth time that day and adjusting them "just so" for the photo op I answered over my shoulder: "Hopey is 5 and our little Charlie-man is 2".
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Her next words caught me off-guard causing my cheek to involuntarily twitch along with the snap of the first photo: "They are both so adorable.....any health issues?" Any health issues??? The question I always dread.
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I put on my best face, took a deep breath and answered: "None for Charlie, thankfully. But (pause) as for Hopey (longer pause) she has had her share of struggles with her little heart." Somehow I managed to get the broken words out of my mouth without allowing the puddle of tears that had suddenly gathered in my eyes to find their way down my cheeks.
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The Hollis gang smiled for the next two shots and I walked over to Linda to grab our photo card while the rest of the bunch worked together to bundle the babes back into their strollers in the 50 degree windy chill.
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I was surprised when Linda looked directly into my eyes and purposefully took my hand in hers as I reached out to take the card from her: "One day, everything will be made right....everything will be perfect.....and I know you know what I am talking about."
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My puddle of tears became a gusher as I stood in front of that great big silver ball at Epcot, but ironically, I forgot about being in that "magical" place during those few moments with Linda. As I cried, she continued: "We will all see each other again some day, and on that day, Hope's heart will be completely healed."
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I shared more about Hopey with Linda and told her about Hope's appointment this week and asked her to pray. She said her late mother's birthday was January 14th, and assured me that will be an easy date for her to remember. Linda promised to pray for our little princess on Friday.
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As I walked away from our new friend toward all the "magic" Disney had to offer our family that evening, my heart lingered back with Linda. For some strange reason, I wanted to sit a bit longer with her and secretly wished the line of guests waiting for her to snap their photo had not appeared. In those few minutes of time in a land called Epcot, a stranger had taken the time to remind me of the place where all of our dreams really do come true.....a place of unfathomable magic....a place called heaven. Her parting words to me still ring in my ears: "Remember, everything will be made perfect, so there is no need to be afraid."
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"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things are passed away." Revelation 21:4
Thank you so very much for your prayers for Our Little Princess!
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