Saturday, March 23, 2013

Reactive Attachment Disorder..."61 steps away"

Two weeks ago, just before Natalie was to be transferred to the Residential Treatment Center in Illinois, we spent 13 hours in a studio recording 3 songs.  Two of them were "for" Natalie.  One of them an original song.  Probably our way of coping.

One of the videos was shot in an alley clothed in waste.  Graffiti was scribbled on the walls in remembrance of those who had entered the solitude of the place.  Isn't it ironic? Every human being wants to be heard, even if the words are randomly spray painted in a remote alley where no one will ever see them.

Underneath a black metal stair case sat a single chair....oddly, it was all alone.  It didn't fit in.  Who would sit in this alley?  Surrounded by trash?  With nostrils taking in the stomach wrenching stench of food that had missed the nearby receptacles and had instead been aimlessly thrown out to rot on the ground?  Who?  And more important....why?

61 steps away.

That's all it would take.  61 steps.

Just get up from the chair and walk 61 steps....take one step at a time to find you are:

61 steps from the pulsing heart of a small town alive and bustling with functioning people....fathers who go to work every morning in order to provide food and shelter for their children, mothers who take their daughters to ballet practice each week, sons who play on the soccer team, aunts who sing in the local church choir, grandparents who have saved an inheritance to leave to their heirs, neighbors who are catching up on their front porches, and friends who will meet for dinner at a local restaurant that evening.

61 steps away.  And yet, there is this lone single chair.

Natalie is in the chair.  Life is going on all around her, only 61 steps away....but she is paralyzed in the chair.

Natalie and Chappy did not talk on the plane ride to Illinois.  He said they both sat in silence as they anticipated what was ahead of them.  Chappy in fear of rejection yet again....and Natalie feeling lost and alone.  Her parting words to Chappy last weekend as he left her behind in a city that was spitting snow:

Chappy:  "Nat, do you care at all about our family?"
Natalie:  "No-sir"
Chappy:  "Do you think you'll ever be ready to live at home with us again?"
Natalie:  "No-sir"

61 steps away....but she sits in the chair, surrounding herself with the garbage that is the lies of the enemy who has told her she is not worthy to be loved....a place where she believes she belongs.

Isaiah Chapter 61....and the first verse:

"The Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the oppressed....and to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives, and release from darkness for the prisoners"

Here is the video...the song is about rising above your circumstances....see if you can find the chair:

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