I shared yesterday about Natalie and Caleb entering the public school system after five years of homeschooling and the grief I am experiencing through the process of letting them go. I miss them terribly and have already cried buckets in the privacy of my closet; however, I am very careful to "act normal" when in front of the gang. I asked God to comfort me, and He did.....but in an unexpected way. He chose a method that surely brought a grin to His face, I am certain, because it has brought a grin to my own.
Little Hope, in her perceptive way, wasn't fooled by my "happy mom act".....not one bit. She must have sensed my sadness, because she followed me around the house all afternoon. During the day she would periodically seek me out and lift her arms up in the air for me to pick her up with a great big grin on her face (so big her eyes would squint shut underneath her purple glasses), but instead of simply sitting in my arms, she would turn to me and embrace me tight, patting my back.....not for a few moments, but for minutes at a time. Other times she would come and simply hug my leg or grab hold of my hand to follow her over to a chair so I could sit and hold her in my lap. Each time she showed her sweet love to me today, my heart filled as her tenderness enveloped me. Tonight, Hope is sleeping soundly, and her mommy's heart is full. Her job is done.
It never ceases to amaze me how God uses the weak to confound the so-called wise. God gives all of us unique gifts, and these "special ones" are no exception. In fact, I would argue the gifts He gives them are exceptional.....in the way they love completely.....and innocently.....giving all they have to give through an embrace, a smile, a touch, or the smack of a kiss. Nothing quite like it.
Tomorrow it is supposed to snow. School has already been canceled. YIPEE!!! I get a full day with all of the children tomorrow. (Momma hen is happy 'cause the chickens are cooped up with her in the henhouse.) I think the Lord knew I needed baby steps---He sees ahead and provides. As the white snow covers the earth tomorrow, I will choose to remember God is able to cover all of our fears, sadness, uncertainties, and pain with Hope and Love!!! And I will praise Him.
"But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear Him; on those whose HOPE is in his unfailing LOVE...." Psalm 33:18