Our family has received an outpouring of love and support since the last post. Thank you. To my surprise, many people were able to read between the lines a bit and somehow know there is more to the story than what I posted. The gift of discernment, in this case, was much appreciated.
From what I have been told, there are families lined up to adopt Darya. THAT is the most important thing. A little one who was once disregarded is now coveted by many. And with so many competing for her affection, she is certain to find a family that will treat her like the little princess she is. Our loss will definitely be someone else's gain!
In all the comments, Tara's probably struck the strongest chord with me. She said: "I find it so difficult to think I'm going to zig, only to have God say "zag". She hit the nail on the head. Chappy and I really believed God was in our adoption of Darya.....we couldn't see why He would allow Lydia to raise all that money in only eight days for any other reason. Now I feel like I was selfish or possibly prideful. Why did I fall into the trap of thinking it had to be all about me and our family??? It is humbling to be smacked in the face with reality and realize you have been but a tool in the whole process: our ministry, clearly, was the money part of Darya's adoption. How ashamed I am when I think of my silent attitude: "We raised the money, so she'll be adopted by us!" I wonder now if I really ever asked God with open ears at all.
Along with you, I anxiously await to find out who the wonderful new family will be. Thank you again for all your kindness. I must be a mountain of pride, because the Father continually sees fit to break me into pieces. Aren't we so fortuntate that His abounding grace is brand new every morning???