Sunday, May 16, 2010

Perspectives from a Brother's Heart...

Hey everyone! Caleb here,

I wanted to share with everyone how Hope's life and previous news has affected me so far. First of all, Hope came into our lives about 4 1/2 years ago. Before her, our family didn't know the true meaning of love. To us love was just a feeling that we all felt towards each other, but soon we found that it's much more than that.

When Hope was born, we knew that she wasn"t supposed to live for anything more than a day, but look how far she's come. Her heart wasn't supposed to last for anytime at all, but it's still pumping. We all have prayed that she would be healed and that her heart would heal completely. Just recently we had a stumbling thought: "What if Hope was supposed to die in the beginning?" Wouldn't that mean every day we've had with her is a miracle?

To Hope, I'm big brother. The one who picks her up when she falls; when she wants to watch a movie, I am the one who finds her favorite; when she's hungry I find "unhealthy" food for her to eat (when moms not looking), and I pray with her every night during our family meetings, on our knees around the ottoman with her hands clasped and eyes peeping around to see who is still praying (making sure everyone is still praying). In a way, I feel like a hero to Hope.

However, I don't know how to handle her latest news. There has always been a fix for Hope, another surgery and another million prayers. How am I, Caleb, Hope's hero supposed to tell her everything is going to be okay? How am I to hold her hand and whisper encouraging words while she lays in her bed each night with a big smile on her face? How can I do that without tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat?

Many a time I sit and wonder, Why did God give a bad heart to Hope when there are those who take their life for granted everyday of their life and others who seek evil? Why not give them a heart like Hopes and make hers wholesome and complete? Why give a good heart to someone who is just going to waste their blessing?

Lately, I've had alot of stuggles in life, home and school. We all have, because it is very hard to hold all the seams together and not break apart. Especially with Hope's issues. It's hard to live life knowing that the one person in the world you love the most might not live much longer. It's hard to picture not waking up to a Hopey hug n' kiss everyday, and not chasing after her as she tries to get away with chucking glasses and pictures across the room, hearing her giggle as you tickle her over and over and over again to almost a point where she can't breath, and watching her smiling, laughing, and yelling as she preaches to the angels that float over her head with hands raised high and feet marching.

Hope is the absolute biggest blessing in the world. If I had the choice to change her Down syndrome...never. Then she wouldn't be Hope. If I had the choice to heal her a heart beat.

Thanks for reading; Thanks more for praying,


  1. Wow! I know you feel blessed to have hope and I also know that Hope is also blessed to have you. I am pryaing that God will continue blessing Hope with more great days! In Christ Alone we get our strength! Lean on Him during this time!


  2. Caleb what a wonderful brother God has blessed Hope with. I am so sorry for the sadness Hope's latest dr. appt. has shadowed your family with. It's sounds like Hope is already a miracle each day. I pray she will be with you for another day and then another.

  3. "How am I, Caleb, Hope's hero supposed to tell her everything is going to be okay?" You are supposed to tell her everything is going to be ok because it is. God is in control of her life and no matter what WE think of the outcome, it is going to be ok for Hope. Whether it be here or in Heaven. Here, she has her wonderful family to love her. There she will be with Him and there is nothing better.

    I am the oldest of 7 children. I hoped and hoped for an older brother. Not until I was 8 and my third sibling was born did I realize they were never going to come older! God did eventually bring an 'older brother' to our family who lived with us a few years and for that I was thankful. I said all that to say what a blessing ALL of your sisters and brother have in you as an older brother.

    Keep believing and knowing God has Hope's best interest at heart and He loves her. No matter the outcome, know you have been blessed to have had her in your life for however long you get to have her and that what she taught you can never be unlearned.

  4. Hope is so blessed to have you for her big brother, Caleb. God is completely in control of Hope and your family . . He has placed you together as a family exactly for the riches you bring to one another. You are a very fine young man!

  5. Wow your love for Hope (and your entire family) shines in your post. What beautiful words spoken by a wonderful big brother!

  6. That was really nice Caleb. What an awesome young man you are! I would be so proud to have my son write that.
    Your love for Hope is beautiful...and unending. Hope will always be your little sister, you will always be her hero big brother :)
    I know how hard this must be on your whole family....It's just so wonderful to see how much this little girl is LOVED!


  7. Caleb, you are so strong and brave. God has done some amazing things in your family. Hope will not live forever and her life may be much shorter than anyone would like. But maybe Gods plan was to show your family a love greater than you have ever known, through Hopey. Stay strong, you will always be Hopey's hero