Thursday, May 13, 2010

Hopey Update

The Cardiology team met today to discuss Hopey's case at length. The next step will be an MRI which has been scheduled for May 28th at 9am. There are two concerns at this point: First, is the aneurysm so large it is now impacting lung flow? Second, if the aneurysm bursts, what will the impact be? We hope the MRI is a more definitive test than the ultrasound.

Lydia and I went out to lunch today with Hope and Charlie and were able to have some very good discussion. After writing the blog and sharing her heart with all of you last evening, Lydia was in the mood to talk at length about her fears concerning Hope. She read every single comment that was left on her blog post. In fact, she ran in to check for comments most of the afternoon, reading them over and over again, receiving comfort from your words and being bathed in your prayers. Thank you. During our lunch today, Lydia, still only eleven years old, sorted through a whole host of conflicting thoughts....from feeling very guilty for being angry with God for Hope's ongoing heart issues to wondering if she is really even saved! I mostly listened and nodded my head as she spoke.

We left the restaurant and as I was putting Hope into her carseat (having a difficult time fastening her in because the sweet thing with a full belly was more interested in hugging me) I had a sudden thought. Lydia had already put Charlie into his seat and was placing his stroller into the back of the van when I shouted out: "Lydia, what if God is giving us a miracle right now?"

Lydia squinted her big brown eyes at me as if to say: "Crazy momma say what?"

I waited for her to get settled into the car and then turned in my seat to look at her face to face:

"What if Hope was supposed to die months ago....or even years ago? What if that was God's original plan? And what if, because of our constant prayers and petitions to Him on Hope's behalf, He is continuing to give her another day....then another....then another? What if we are angry with Him right now when we should actually be thanking him?"

She just looked at me.

"Maybe we should just continue asking for more time with Hope, Lydia, and if we have Hopey again tomorrow, perhaps we should be truly grateful and celebrate the Lord with hearts full of gratitude. Then, we will ask Him again...and again...and again....for one more day....one more day....just one more day. God loves us Lydia, asking for one more day will never be too much to ask."

Silence.

I turned and started the car and we pulled out of the parking lot. After a few minutes I shot a quick look at Lydia. Tears.

To break up the somber mood, I thought we should celebrate right then in the car. I broke out in "This Little Light of Mine"....one of Hopey's favorite songs (and Charlie's too). Hopey still cannot speak, but she can hold that little finger up and make her own kind of joyful noise. "Hide it under a bushel, NO! I'm gonna let it shine." Before you know it, Hopey was putting her little light under the bushel as Lydia was hollering: "No"...little Charlie was so stiff with excitement he could hardly stand it. Wonderful praise for the ONE who continues to give us ONE MORE DAY!

Tears. This time rolling down my cheeks. This time, tears of joy and gratitude. Oh, Father in heaven, please give us one more day.....

7 comments:

  1. Mel, how beautiful! I know what a stuggle this journey has been for all of you but I also know everytime your faith is strengthened and God continues to show himself to you and your precious family.

    John 10:9-11 Jesus says "If anyone enters by me,he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep"

    The abundant or FULL life is what Hope has and is teaching us.... to live for God fully everyday. love you all! Sarah

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  2. Good for you! What a beautiful way to look at God's blessing that is Hope's life, and what a wonderful way to teach Lydia. Still praying for you, and so encouraged by your blog. Thank you!

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  3. Though you have no idea who I am, Hope has touched my life... God used your blog to help me realize that my life is inexplicably tied with special needs kids in Eastern Europe. I resisted God at first, because having a special needs sister, I know the struggles. But hearing about your sweet Hope has not only reconciled me to what God wants, but is making me excited about loving on beautiful, special needs kids for the rest of my life. I still don't know understand exactly what God will have me do, but I know it will be amazing.

    And I also wanted to share this song on the radio this morning. I thought of you when it played. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6c3CYdqTG8

    "The hands that hold the world... are holding [Hope's] heart."

    Love and blessings,
    Brittany

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  4. That is so awesome how you used a God inspired thought and turned it into a wonderful lesson showing Lydia God's grace to us. You are an awesome mom!!!

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  5. Will join you in praying for one more day with precious Hopey! Will also be praying for the MRI - our youngest daughter is adopted and also sees cardiologists at Vandy (they have talked about needing to do an MRI on her, for different cardiac reasons though)... Trusting and praising God with you,
    amy

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  6. WOW..I read Lydia's post and never commented. I never commented because I couldnt get out what I was thinking onto the computer. But you said it perfectly. The Miracle is happening NOW.

    My daughter whom we adopted has special needs and everyday I feel like I am watching a miracle and I cherish every moment not knowing what GOD has planned for tomorrow.

    Thank you for sharing

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  7. Mel, my prayers are still with you all daily! Praying for one more day with your little blessing, Hope!

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