Thursday, September 17, 2009

Day # 6....Our Little Light

"This Little Light Of Mine"......That pretty much sums Hopey up. She is definitely a little light. I've already mentioned before, Hope isn't speaking yet. She just turned 4, and we are still waiting on our first: "Mommy", "Daddy", "I love you". If she says "Mommy", I will have to be mopped off of the floor. I will completely melt.

It is interesting to live with a little person who knows exactly what she wants but can't speak. We do sign language as much as possible, and she knows close to 50 signs. Problem is that she only uses the sign language when it suits her. Most of the time, she doesn't want to bother with thinking through the sign for "drink", "eat", "movie", "I want" or "please". Instead, for instance, she pulls me by the shirt or arm over to the kitchen and bangs on the refrigerator door or the pantry door..... OR she gets a Barney video, brings it to me and then goes and plops herself in her chair in front of the tv with a big grin. She has figured out the easy way of getting what she wants. And, apparently, she has trained her family quite well, because we all serve her like she is a queen.

I've thought about all of this more frequently over the last several days, probably because I want to hear her verbally say "Mommy" so badly. (I REALLY want her to say "Mommy" before October 12th.) Hope communicates with me perfectly without words. She says "I Love You" all of the time with great big bear hugs, loud smoochy kisses and gigantic grins that cover her little round face. She communicates "I'm happy" with laughter, "I'm sad" through her tears, and "I'm mad" with a mouth that turns wrongside out (you'd have to see it to believe it). She even communicates "Mommy" each time she chooses me over another in the family. So why is it that I want to hear words?

I've been that way with God, too. "I want to hear words, God!!!" Tell me you love me. Tell me everything is going to be ok. Tell me....tell me.....tell me. I can imagine Him rolling His eyes as I am typing this post wondering if I am really going to accept that it is much more meaningful to be shown love through actions than to have received love via the spoken word.

What I have found on this "Hope journey" is I give Hope much more of my attention because she doesn't speak. I have to watch her and study her to really know her and connect with her. Unlike a person who doesn't spend a lot of time with Hope, I can tell her sick cry from an "I'm tired" cry.....I know the difference between an "I'm not able to do this" grunt and an "I just don't want to do this" grunt.......If Hope had the ability to speak, I wouldn't have to spend so much time "learning her". Maybe this is why God doesn't speak audibly very often. I know I have never heard His audible voice. Maybe He wants me to really "learn Him".

One way I can "learn God" is through Creation. Creation didn't stop with "In the beginning....". Creation is still in motion. For example, God spoke: "Let there be light!" Then, in obedience, the light popped into action and never stopped. From a book I read years ago, and have not forgotten: "Light travels at the speed of 186,000 miles per second. At the time of creation, God called into existence more than 16 billion miles of universe within a 24 hour period. Scientists say the universe is still expanding at the speed of light......there are galaxies millions of light-years away" (Your Spiritual Authority by Charles Capps). The day I accepted His plan over my own, God looked at me and said: "Let there be light". From that moment, my light was meant to shine forth.....moving, expanding, reaching, touching, creating. Webster tends to lean toward defining the word "light" as a noun. I bet God considers the word to be a verb.

To close, today was a rainy day. There was not much to do besides stay in the house all day. So, we stayed in and sang "This Little Light of Mine" about 50 times. At least. Hope loved every minute of it. Even in singing and dancing with Hope to a simple song, God is teaching me. As I watched Hope get so excited spinning, dancing, and moving her arms to the music that she couldn't stand it, I saw the Lord in her light. I felt joy. I smiled and laughed. Wonderous light radiated from her little dancing body and landed right on me. Before I knew it, hours had passed and I had not even thought of October 12th. Amazing? God.

"Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven".

Still marching.....marched through puddles tonight. It was glorious!!! Thank you, again, mighty prayer warriors. I have each of you pictured in my mind, standing strong all around little Hopey. You have been a light to us this week. You have blessed us more than you'll ever know.


  1. I know that I have to get something done today other than watching Hope and Lydia repeatedly, which is what I've been doing!! hee hee That's just too much preciousness for one video screen! We love you all and our prayers continue...

  2. My prayers are with you along this journey. Praying for wisdom for you and sweet little Hope to say "Mommy", I love you!! Many hugs for you guys.

  3. I don't know y'all, but I started following your blog the other day and found it so powerful and touching. Hope seems like such a doll and you guys are in my prayers.

  4. Weather wise it has been a blah week. Thank you Hope for Shining your light & making our day. We love you so much & it was such a joy to see you spinning & to see your little finger holding your candle up. You had our boys dancing & spinning with you. Now Caleb-you had us bawling. Thank you for being a great big brother. Just like God chose parents for Hope-we know HE also chose the best siblings for her. We are praying for a miracle on Oct. 12th because we would love to see you coach her to victory in the SOlympics. We know she would win. We are marching with your family. We love you! Love, Stacey, Neil, Parker & Payton Miller